AttractionBlogs.com: I’m here with Barry Kirkey, from the Barry Kirkey Radio Show. Barry, it’s great to have you with us.
Barry Kirkey: Thanks for having me, dude.
AttractionBlogs.com: Your radio show, it seems, has really taken the Seduction Community by storm. Many describe it as a breath of fresh air. There was a time in the not-too-distant past when Thundercat’s Lair was the only show in town. Now it seems his time has come and gone. What happened there?
Barry Kirkey: Well, Thundercat is non-integrous, in my opinion, and non-integrous people meet their demise.
AttractionBlogs.com: Now, some of our readers may not know this, but you are actually a foundational member of the Seduction Community. You lived in Project Hollywood, you came from Toronto (like Mystery), you were one of the original instructors for Real Social Dynamics, and you were a major character in The Game, Extramask. How would you describe your own arc from those days leading up to where you are now?
Barry Kirkey: I was known more as "Twentysix" in the "scene". Back then I was the following:
- A 26-year old Virgin.
- Suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Depression.
I have a cult mentality man, it has its advantages and disadvantages.
- Advantage: Anything that I am really interested in, I will accomplish. My past shows the proof, and I am convinced I can do anything when I set my mind to it.
- Disadvantage: Sometimes you make the wrong decisions in life and you don't know it until later. So when you go full-out on something that may not be that healthy, well, then you reap the disadvantages. The dating community is something that I believe is very unhealthy, but at the time I thought otherwise.
AttractionBlogs.com: Word on the street is that Style has an outstanding debt to you for $10,000. Can you tell us more about that?
Barry Kirkey: Totally, he owes me $10,000.00 for using my character and all my stories in The Game. He still owes me $10,000.00. Where is it Neil?
AttractionBlogs.com: What inspired you to come up with the Extramask character? Was it just an outlet for you?
Barry Kirkey: Extramask had a few connotations these days.
From 2002 to 2004, Extramask was a messed up character I created who wears a ski-mask and a suit, and acts brain-damaged. I had a website for Extramask where I had videos and audio files recorded by Extramask. Actually, I will be recording "The Extramask Show" on Friday, February 5, 2010, which will profile the history of Extramask.
In 2005, Neil Strauss called me and wanted me to help him think of a name for my character in his book, The Game. He didn't want to use 26 because the character was a "composite" character, meaning he merged some weird dude in to my character at the beginning of the book and said it was me (lame). So, he didn't wanna use 26, because he was worried all the scenesters (dating nerd guys) would freak out about the lies in the book because they knew my history, since I was writing about everything I did on Fast Seduction.
I thought of telling him to use "Barry Kirkey", 'cause I always wanted to persue a career in comedy, and knew any publicity would help, but then I chickened out and asked him to use Extramask. He liked the idea and went forward.
AttractionBlogs.com: Is there an Extramask movie in the works?
Barry Kirkey: No, but it would be fun to make. Don't know if it'd make much money though, and depends, which Extramask you want. I guess an amalgamation of both would be pretty cool.
AttractionBlogs.com: Why did you leave Hollywood and set up shop back in Toronto? Was there some process of self-discovery that happened during that time?
Barry Kirkey: Two things:
1. I was doing a workshop with Real Social Dynamics in 2004 in Montreal. I hated the message RSD was teaching the students. I felt dirty. I remember going back to L.A. and thinking one day and just feeling like I was becoming this shallow piece of garbage. I liked myself way more before I came in the scene, and now I was this shallow prick. I was kinda repulsed. So, I told RSD I quit. They tried to keep me.
Papa Kho: We'll give you your own room and weekdays off if you stay.
Barry: Dude, if you gave me $100,000.00 I wouldn't stay.
And that was the truth, the place was toxic.
It's funny, but once you get good with attracting the opposite sex you think life is going to be awesome. It wasn't. I was a mess. This wasn't the answer, and I was chasing something that didn't need too much tinkering with. I really should have tried to take care of my OCD, but c'est la vie. It's gay, but things happen for a reason.
2. I didn't go back home right away when I left West Hollywood. I felt bad for RSD, so I worked with them for three more months, since they were a new business I didn't want to ef them over. So, I stayed until October, and then left the company when in Sydney, Australia and started traveling all around. I even booked a flight to India. I was going there to potentially live there in a cave, meditating for the rest of my life.
AttractionBlogs.com: I think it’s fascinating the way you made it in the community, I mean you came into your own with Revolution31.com, yet it wasn’t from doing pick-up—but doing what you love: comedy. Do you think that says something about the size of the community today?
Barry Kirkey: Yeah, the dating industry is pretty big. I don't think it's as big as everyone "thinks" however. A lot of people think I am some crusader against the dating industry. It couldn't be further from the truth. I don't like it, but it's not my goal to destroy it. I could care less if it exists. I just happen to talk a lot about it on the show because the stories write themselves. A lot of the dating guru guys are so ridiculous it's amazing!
AttractionBlogs.com: I notice you interview a lot of metal artists on your show, which is really cool (for example, Alex Skolnick of Testament.) Are these guys into the Seduction Community? I mean, are they reading the stuff? Are they reading The Mystery Method or how do they connect with you and the show?
Barry Kirkey: Yeah, we recently interviewed Chuck Billy, as well.
Some of the bands, actors and authors we interview are very aware of the dating scene. Do they find me? No. I find them, then they usually: 1. Research me and find out, or 2. They already have knowledge and I bring it up on the show and they react with their knowledge.
AttractionBlogs.com: I guess it’s indicative also of a broader appeal in terms of your show demographic. I’m just curious, have you had any interest from conventional broadcasters?
Barry Kirkey: No, I have not. To be honest I don't play to shop the show for a few more years, as I am really trying to work out all the kinks before I make a legitimate pitch/presentation to a broadcaster.
AttractionBlogs.com: Does Revolution31 sell any products or coaching? Are there any projects in the works? Our readers want to know more! How do we send you our hard-earned dollars?
Barry Kirkey: We recently discontinued coaching sessions (Hotel Barry-Fornia). However, we do have one product, Barry Kirkey Channel: On Demand – here you can listen to any show we've created over the last 1.75 years. There's presently over 620 hours of entertainment and counting!
AttractionBlogs.com: The community seems to be a pretty hostile place, at times, for example when Savoy sued Mystery back in 2007/2008.
Barry Kirkey: I wish I could be a fly on the wall for that! As far as I know, this is the story: Savoy had intercourse with Mystery. Mystery became impregnated and now Mystery has a baby. The baby came out of his gaping pussy with an Abraham Lincoln hat on, I kid you not! I believe that Mystery will probably win custody since he is the mother. I don't understand how Savoy impregnated Mystery though, since he has a pussy too. He must have punctured a hole in Mystery's pussy-condom.
AttractionBlogs.com: I imagine that you ruffle a lot of feathers with your radio show. Does any of that hostility ever make its way back to you? And how do you deal with that and yet maintain artistic integrity, as someone who lampoons seduction gurus?
Barry Kirkey: It almost always gets back to me. I've had to deal with a lot of legal threats and legal documents from some of the Dating Companies and some individuals.
Problem is, they don't hold up. I'm doing a comedy show, and thank god (please use lower case – I don't believe in god) for free speech. That's a right. If companies ruled the world (even though I'm a company too), we'd be taken advantage of like Mystery's gaping pussy.
AttractionBlogs.com: You lived with Mystery. Tell us the score: is he really suicidal? Are you really afraid for him the way you talk on your show?
Barry Kirkey: Mystery suicidal? I doubt it. He's got a lot to live for. He has a really cute daughter and I'm happy for the guy. I think that kid is good for the him. Kinda forces him with a real responsibility, and takes him away from some of the creeps he's chosen to hang out with for the majority of his life. It's gay, but I think his daughter will probably make him a better person.
AttractionBlogs.com: How about Tyler Durden? Is he as evil as Neil Strauss makes him out to be in The Game?
Barry Kirkey: I always say this:
1. Most of the stuff that Neil wrote in The Game (I never read the book) about Owen are massively exaggerated and lies.
2. However, the stuff that is true in The Game (I listened to the audio book) about Owen are the really douchey things he did.
So, Owen's little dicky things = not true.
Owen's major douchey things = true.
I lived there, I saw this stuff with my own eyeballs, I don't need to read that book. I really don't dig Neil at all. He's one of those guys that will talk to you and you can tell in his beady eyes that he doesn't care about you at all. He might fool some people, not me.
AttractionBlogs.com: What were you like–socially I mean–when you first started learning all of this stuff? Did the Community help you at all?
Barry Kirkey: 1. I was a virgin until I was 26 years and 7 months. I actually had intercourse for the first time on my pa-pa's birthday. Happy birthday pa-pa!
2. Did the scene help me? I'd be lying to say it didn't. I'm more comfortable socially than I have ever been in my life now. I don't worry about how I act or what I sound like it social situations. I am comfortable speaking to groups of people.
What I did realize though is that it's okay to still be scared of public speaking and to still be scared of talking to people I don't know. I get it a lot less, but when I finally figured out that's it's okay to be scared, I felt a lot better. I'm human for christ's sake (please don't capitalize christ, I don't believe in jesus christ our lord and saviour, who takes away the sins of the world, grant us your peace).
I used to be very nervous walking in to a room filled with new people. I used to think "they thought" I was a loser or a nobody. Now, I don't think I'm a somebody. I don't care about that stuff. I just like me. I'm happy with me. Are there things I want to improve about me? Ef yes.
But I personally find that an extended life in the dating community is a selfish lifestyle. Non-integrous.
AttractionBlogs.com: What would you say are the three most important tips you could give someone who wants to become better with women? For example, who, if anyone, would you recommend to coach your little brother, if he needed help? Or would you take him out yourself?
Barry Kirkey: First, I have a younger broham.
1. He's always been better with girls than me.
But let's pretend my brother was bad with women. Then I would rather teach him myself. I know what to do, plus, why let some of these creeps teach him, man, a lot of them are lamers.
Most Important Tips:
3. Go to a psychiatrist or psychologist and start figuring out your real problems.
2. Take some paxil, zoloft, prozac, celexa – whatever drug your doctor recommends.
1. Take the help you got and practice the tools so you can live a healthy life you enjoy.
It's really gay, but start to like yourself, clean yourself up, and girls will come in to your life and want to be there with you. Thank you.
AttractionBlogs.com: What do you think are the most redeemable features of the Community? What is the most fucked-up feature of the Community? And where do you see the Community going in the next 5 or 10 years?
Barry Kirkey: Redeemable features: There's a lot of dudes to goof on. So many rejects.
Fucked-up features: There's a lot of snake-oil salesmen. David DeAngelo would probably be the biggest one. The guy has like 20 products that are exactly the same, but just re-packaged with different titles and the words re-arranged. Seriously? We got the point after one or two of your products dude? Why are you trying to capitalize on the weak by trying to convince people to spend more and more money on the same product over and over?
This is why I talk about the dating scene. Scammers man. It's awesome and I have first-hand experience dealing with these dudes.
Some of them are good, 'cause they seem normal, then they "trick" you…and some of them are snake-oil salesmen on the outside too. I look at guys like Thundercat, Neil Strauss, Papa and Owen like this. Owen took me longer to figure out sadly.
The Dating Industry in 5-10 years: They will all be put on a planet, and then I will explode the planet with a power-packet. For I am the Crusader against the Dating Industry! My goal is to destroy it! I need an energy drink. Rockstar Tropical Punch Flavor, please.
AttractionBlogs.com: It seems like comedy is also evolving. There was an era that’s just past, the Farrelly brothers movies where comedy was a little more wacky, a little more gross, and now we seem to have grown into the Judd Apatow era with movies like Knocked Up and Role Models. What’s coming next in comedy? Would you wager a guess for our readers?
Barry Kirkey: Who is Judd Apatow?
I really don't know what's coming next. I personally like absurd humour. I have to admit I'd feel like a douche to sit here and tell your readers what's next, but I can tell them two of my current favourite comedy shows:
- Kenny vs. Spenny
- Tim & Eric's Awesome Show, Great Job!
AttractionBlogs.com: It seems that things are more splintered now, due to the Internet, and niche stars are starting to rise up. Mystery is a good example of this, being a star in a niche that wouldn’t have existed before the Internet came around. In fact, you are a perfect example of that yourself. What do you think, was a show like yours even possible 5 or 10 years ago? Do you feel a sense of independence?
Barry Kirkey: Yes, a show like mine was definitely possible 5-10 years ago. Absolutely. There are people who would have been interested for sure. The audience wouldn't have been as large, but it still would be able to exist and grow.
I don't feel a sense of independence. I'm constantly trying to figure out how to make the show more unique, different. The last thing I want to be is "like something else". That's why I started the show. I always believed that you're better off to start something you want to do ASAP, even if you don't have all your strategies in line. It's very gay, but I look at everything I do as practice. Funny thing is I'm never out of practice. Things happen when you do, not when you think about doing.
Also, I'm not independent in what I do. There's a lot of people in the dating industry copying me out there. Some tried and failed, and some are failing and still moving forward.
I do 4-5 new shows a week. I really work hard at preparing the show. All day long I am constantly thinking about bits and what to talk about. I have a pad of paper in every room so I can write ideas down for the show. I love this stuff. I can't get enough of it. If people copy me, I'm complimented. It's just when some people start ripping off my jokes that starts to annoy me, but what can you do?
AttractionBlogs.com: What’s next on the horizon for you? Do you have any new projects coming up that you can share with us?
Barry Kirkey: Well, this week I will be doing The Extramask Show. Where I talk about the history of Extramask. The creation of him, the old Extramask website, Extramask in the book, The Game and a lot more!
Also, we're coming up on two years of doing the show on May 1, 2010! Pretty excited about that too. So far we've done 330 shows.
AttractionBlogs.com: Well thank you very much for being with us today, Barry, it’s been an honor to have you.
Barry Kirkey: Thanks everyone, it's appreciated. Take care.
Related posts:
- My Interview on the Barry Kirkey Radio Show
- Anthony on The Barry Kirkey Radio Show 3/1/10
- Erika’s Interview on Barry Kirkey Radio Show
- Barry Kirkey: How To Get Any Woman
- The Return of Barry Kirkey
- Yet Another Barry Kirkey Radio Appearance!
- Barry Kirkey is going to be interviewing me tomorrow …
- The Barry Kirkey Radio Show, June 2 2009
- Extramask: Tantrum
- The Barry Kirkey Radio Show, July 3, 2009
