AttractionBlogs.com: I’m here with Cajun, one of the instructors over at Love Systems. Cajun, it’s great to have you with us.
Cajun: Thanks, I’m great just being here.
AttractionBlogs.com: Everything you’ll ever need to learn about women, you can learn from rock-n-roll. Is that true?
Cajun: Yeah my uncle told me that when I was a kid, and I’ve come to realize how true it is. I can look at someone like Jim Morrison and see that look in his eyes when he’s singing “Love me two times” and realize that he knows exactly what he’s doing when it makes the women swoon. I can watch an early live performance of “babe I’m gonna leave you” by Led Zeppelin and notice the faces of the female fans and how the complex emotions that get elicited through that song affect them in a deep way in a time before Zeppelin were the rock gods they became. I can hear “God Only Knows” by the Beach Boys and understand how women can be brought to tears by the intense emotional chords in Carl Wilson’s voice. Alternatively, I can watch Heart’s performance of “Barracuda” on a 1976 episode of the midnight special and feel myself falling in love with Ann Wilson from something as simple as a face expression she makes on a certain lyric.
All of these artists knew they had thousands of eyes watching them intently, they knew that every note, movement and lyric was an opportunity to seduce, an opportunity to become exactly what they wanted to be in the eyes of their fans. Rock-n-roll, to me, is entirely based around all the elements that men and women find attractive, and when you know that, and study it, you can find answers to any question you may have about the desires of women or men.
AttractionBlogs.com: You have a background as an actor, yet many of the people in the pickup and seduction community have a computer background. Can you tell us about that difference in perspective? And how does that turn up when you are working with students?
Cajun: I guess the main difference would be that I incorporated a lot of the skills I had learned as an actor into my game. Things like improvisation, subtext and tonality, body language and voice projection all helped me greatly in a time when nobody was talking about them. I had also already had a history of studying people and human emotions for acting purposes and had become somewhat socially intelligent through that.
For teaching purposes I use my acting background all the time, how to engage a large group and keep them focused is something that you have to learn pretty quickly if you’re going to work on stage. I also love to teach method acting concepts, things like beliefs and speaking from real true emotions as opposed to feigned lines, so the acting principles come up quite often.
AttractionBlogs.com: You recently got mugged down in Australia and had to have a titanium plate attached to your skull. Is there anything you would do differently if you were back in that same situation?
Cajun: Well, I’ve always believed that regret is a wasted emotion so I try not to think about stuff like that too much. But I suppose I would have ran after taking the second guy out. I got too cocky and it costed me.
AttractionBlogs.com: Have your politics have been affected by your experience?
Cajun: Somewhat, I’ve had similar experiences in the past, so it wasn’t really anything life changing for me. I acted the way that I did, and they acted they way that they did and lessons were learned on both sides I imagine. I always try to look at things in a positive light, even in the most grim of times, Tenmagnet and Keychain (who were both with me after the attack) would tell you I was the one in the highest spirits after the attack, laughing and joking all the way to the hospital. I even got excited a little bit when I learned that I would need a titanium plate in my skull because it’s a lifelong souvenir from such a grizzled story. I try not to take life too seriously, it’s a big joke.
AttractionBlogs.com: I understand you hail from the Acadian area of Canada. Have you ever spent time in the Acadian areas of Louisiana?
Cajun: No, I haven’t actually. My family hid in the woods of New Brunswick and lived with the natives for years instead of heading south during the expulsion, so I don’t have many direct relatives down there. I would love to visit though, the cultures are very similar in many ways.
AttractionBlogs.com: Do you speak the Acadian dialect of French?
Cajun: Ben oui ben oui! Jai besoin un beer c’est right now la! Crotte de bouef le tabernac! Ha ha – actually my family spoke English, so I just learned conversational Acadian, and even then only the local dialect, which is called “Shiac”.
AttractionBlogs.com: Your concept of ‘subtext’ is intriguing. It’s reminiscent of TD’s concept of ‘subcommunication’, but more from an actor’s perspective. Can you tell us a little about it?
Cajun: Yeah, subtext is the underlying meaning behind spoken words. In any conversation between two people, there’s going to be the literal meaning of what was said, and the meaning of what was implied, through subtext. This is actually how most women, and socially intelligent enough men, communicate. Words themselves carry very little meaning without proper context, and what were feeling when speaking is often communicated through the subtext.
For instance, if a guy wanted to start a conversation with an attractive woman in a bar and was nervous, no matter what he said to her, unless he’s a good actor his subtext is going to be “I’m nervous, and I’m trying to pick you up.” and the woman will most likely get uncomfortable or be cold. To have a beneficial subtext, you sometimes have to trick your brain into believing a false context, so instead of thinking “I want to try and pick this girl up” you could tell yourself “I’m going to go fuck with this girl a bit and see if she gets it.” Your subtext then changes from “I’m trying to pick you up,” to “I get a joke you don’t get,” and she’ll most likely respond more positively because you’re presenting yourself as an enigma.
Women really hate it when our intentions don’t match up with what we’re saying, it makes them feel like we have a hidden agenda and it creeps them out, and since our intentions are read through our subtext, if we can alter our subtext to align with, or compliment our intentions, however inappropriate they may be, women will feel a lot more comfortable. This is why I will often make my clients talk to groups of women expecting to get blown out; it tricks their subtext in to communicating a much more beneficial intention.
AttractionBlogs.com: What’s your own personal favorite subtext? And can you recommend a few theatre games or exercises to help students practice the use of subtext?
Cajun: The subtexts I use when opening are something like, “I dare you guys to be rude or condescending to me…because I’m the guy that it won’t work on,” followed by something like, “Yeah I’m hitting on you, go ahead and try to reject me; I’m so charming, it’s not going to work.”
These are just the beliefs I have in my head when I’m saying whatever it is I’m opening with. I make strong eye contact and burn those beliefs into their eyes so only the most confident women will even challenge them. Later on, my subtexts are usually, “Don’t get alone with me,” followed by “If you get alone with me, I will fuck the shit out of you.” I tend to play the scoundrel, though, so that may not work with everyone.
We used to play a game in theatre where you would have a box full of pieces of paper with emotional states written down on them, things like “parents just died,” or “Just won the lottery,” or whatever, and then another box with random lines in it. So you would take a piece from each box and then say the line with the chosen emotional state, and then your partner would have to guess what the emotional state was based on how you said it.
I don’t think this would help too much with women though, since most of those emotional states would be heavily exaggerated unless you’re a good actor. Most of my practice came from using my face expressions in subtle interesting ways and seeing the reaction I got from women, but after a few years I figured out that the best way to communicate any given emotion is to actually truly feel that emotion when delivering it, so in order to get my subtext to be “I will fuck the shit out of you if we get alone,” I had to actually truly feel and believe that. That’s one of the hardest things to try and teach because it’s such a simple concept that it seems almost counter-intuitive, especially when compared to a lot of other advice out there.
AttractionBlogs.com: About inner game, you once wrote:
When people ask me how I developed my “Rock solid confidence”, I always answer the same; “Practice.” When you think about what confidence actually is you realize that its simply doing something that you’ve done enough times to be comfortable with. It’s only when were thrown into situations that are unfamiliar to us that we start to lose confidence in ourselves. The sad and somewhat ironic reality is that most men are not comfortable talking to women simply because they don’t talk to women! It’s a negative feedback loop that’s perpetuated by a fear of “what might go wrong”. This is bullshit! To be scared of the possible negative outcomes is to be scared of the very thing that enables you to get better!
AttractionBlogs.com: (continued…) Does this insight come from your background as a performer?
Cajun: Yeah definitely, it’s a frightening feeling standing backstage waiting for your cue to enter stage on opening night. It’s a similar feeling working up the courage to talk to that beautiful woman at the bar. In either case the old adage “the show must go on!” seems appropriate. I’d always tell myself that I had to talk to at least 5 women before I could go home if I was having a bad night. Usually before that 5 was up I’d have at least one really good interaction which would lift my spirits and make me want to stay for “just a couple more.”
This is a great way to trick your mind into getting into a good state about approaching women because you’re setting it up as a win/win situation; if 5 more women reject you, then great, you can go home and play video games and not feel bad since you met your goal. If you end up meeting a cool girl in those 5, then again, that’s great too! It’s also important to remember that every time you fuck up an interaction, whether you’re conscious of it or not, you’re building your social intelligence. Not getting the girl can, in many situations, be more beneficial than getting her, if it means you learn something that is going to help you avoid the same situation when it really counts!
AttractionBlogs.com: There are a number of other guys in the industry that are also a big proponent of this concept that good inner game is a result of time spent in practice. In fact, that seems to have been a long-standing point of contention between “natural game” advocates and “structured game” advocates. What’s your take on that?
Cajun: There’s this technique that we use a lot when teaching thats called “exposure therapy” which essentially posits that in order to change the existing beliefs you have of yourself, women, or even society, sometimes it’s better to push yourself into situations that will strengthen the new, more beneficial belief, whether you agree with it or not, rather than try to logically convince yourself (or pay others to try and logically convince you) that your belief is false.
That sounds kind of confusing, but the way that this translates in practice is that sometimes I will tell my clients to perform an activity in which the result will strengthen a belief that I want them to have. So something as simple as asking a group of women where a good bar in the city to meet women would be, because your friend is depressed and you want him to meet people and have a good time to cheer him up. There’s a good chance that a conversation will spring up from that question and the belief that women are pretty easy to talk to gets demonstrated whether they believed it to be true or not.
AttractionBlogs.com: What if someone is interested in live training with Cajun? How can they get a hold of you?
Cajun: You can check out my schedule and sign up for my seminars and bootcamps at the Love Systems Cajun web page. I’m also available for one-on-ones and phone consultations by request. You can also reach the Love Systems office at 800.680.0821 for bookings by phone or contact me directly at cajun@lovesystems.com for inquiries.
AttractionBlogs.com: In your opinion, what is the biggest source of conflict between the sexes, and what do you recommend to our readers for dealing with it effectively?
Cajun: Honesty, I’d say, men are afraid to admit what they really mean, and how they really feel. When it comes to dating guys tend to think there are rules to play by and no-no’s and exceptions. It’s bullshit, I’ve always found that the easiest way to get out of a situation on top is to be completely honest and be comfortable with the truths that I’m admitting.
If I want to ravish a woman after only speaking with her for a few minutes then I’ll probably tell her. Being the guy that is able to keep it real and stand strong is a hell of a lot better than the sneak who walks on eggshells. Don’t be afraid to admit your intentions, and stand strong and be comfortable with them. We are men, after all.
AttractionBlogs.com: Who are your influences? Who would you say in the pickup community has had the biggest impact on your game?
Cajun: As far as the community I would have to say Tenmagnet; he’s the one that introduced me to the community and helped me get my bearings when I started teaching.
All the direct influences on my game itself have come from outside sources though. There aren’t really any guys in the community that I would want to emulate. That’s not a burn, necessarily; I just think everyone should strive to find their own style. I admire guys like Errol Flynn, Sean Connery, and Warren Beatty, and I’ve stolen qualities from all of them to develop my own style; the playfulness of Beatty, the confidence and masculine dominance of Connery and the cocksure attitude of Flynn. I tend to pick up things all the time from other people though, I’m somewhat of a subconscious mimic.
AttractionBlogs.com: Are there any Cajun products in the works?
Cajun: Yeah right now I’m working on my first book which will be on online dating, it’s been a long time coming but I’m finally putting the boots to the mud and finishing it. It’s already coming along nicely and should be finished and released later this year. I also have a body language product coming out in the next couple months that I’m collaborating on with Mr. M and Vercetti (also of Love Systems) that should be awesome. I may do another book later this year but I haven’t decided on what.
AttractionBlogs.com: Cajun, what’s next on the horizon? Do you have any surprises up your sleeve?
Cajun: 2009 was a bit of a quiet year for me but 2010 won’t be, you’ll be seeing a lot from me this year and I can’t wait to share some of the stuff I’ve been working on. Keep an eye on my blog, www.CajunsBlog.com, to hear about all the good stuff that will be happening this year. It hasn’t been updated in a while because I’ve been focusing on my book, but I’ll be updating it more regularly in the coming weeks.
AttractionBlogs.com: Cajun, thank you very much for being with us today, it’s great to have you.
Cajun: No problem, it was great being here, thanks a lot!
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