AttractionBlogs.com: I’m here with Wayne Elise, a.k.a. ‘Juggler,’ one of the most well-known and respected teachers in dating and attraction, and the founder of CharismaArts.com.
Wayne Elise: Thanks man, I love you too.
AttractionBlogs.com: You’ve pioneered a carefree, conversational style that has been very influential as the community has evolved towards a more natural style of game. How would you describe your method to someone who’s new to all of this?
Wayne Elise: It’s the best method. Most of the other gurus have lost their girlfriends to our guys. And I don’t even mean our top instructors or anything like that, but to our yellow-belt, run-of-the-mill guys. Ahahaha!
Okay seriously, most guys are looking for a linear method they can control, but I believe that the world rarely works like that. This is akin to trying to force a square peg into a round hole. It’s just not going to work and it can make you look uncalibrated.
I believe once you have an understanding of how the world of women and the dynamics of approaching strangers works, you begin to react intelligently by using the right peg for the shape of the hole. I think of attraction much more like I’m carrying around a tool box. I pull out the right tool for the job. I call it plumber game. Ha. That’s a joke. It’s called Juggler Game or Charisma Arts Game, or you can call it Actually Getting Girls Right And Being Happy Game. There is so much hype out there. Been doing this a long time and I want to see guys succeed, not make a pile of money. So I am constantly trying to refine our methods and make things work better. It’s hard to pin down the method at any one time. It’s pretty natural but not natural game. It’s complete but evolving. It’s zen but not spiritual. It’s got techniques but we know when to abandon them sometimes. I guess in the end, we want to teach a guy to think, understand and react on his feet in a sexy way that gets him lots of hot girls. Or a girlfriend. Or steal a girlfriend. That’s kinda my specialty.
I divide what we teach into three parts:
1. Learning to articulate yourself better.
2. Getting a girl to put her real self out there.
3. Escalation (moving an interaction forward, periodically, towards a sexual outcome.)
AttractionBlogs.com: I read in THE GAME that you used to be a professional juggler. And of course, it’s well-known that Mystery also used to work as a street magician. Do you think that sort of experience is what led you to where you are today as an expert on dating and social interaction?
Wayne Elise: Surprisingly, practicing meeting women actually helped my street performance more than the other way around. But yeah, getting out in front of people is helpful. New street performers run into the same problem as new would-be-seducers. They want to succeed badly and don’t want to look foolish. But both have to accept that the only way to succeed is to be willing to fail sometimes and be okay sucking in front of others, at least for awhile. No matter how much direction you give a guy there’s a learning curve that you just have to work through. It can be unpleasant. In street performing I had experienced street performers holding my had through that. We at Charisma Arts try to hold our clients’ hands. Figuratively of course.
AttractionBlogs.com: I’m wondering if you also have a background in comedy?
Wayne Elise: Yes, I try to be funny. I like making people laugh. My street performing relied much on comedy. I also performed stand up. Sometimes I killed and sometimes my jokes dropped like ugly stink bombs to destroy the neighborhood and kill people’s cats.
I believe comedy can be taught. At least the conditions that a person creates from where they can find the funny in themselves. That can be taught. I do that in the Conversation Camps that I teach. Incidentally, the Conversation Camps are not pick up oriented only. Sales people and women take that camp. It’s all about mastering conversation, being witty and understanding how to bring someone else out.
AttractionBlogs.com: What would you say are the three pieces of advice you would give someone who is just starting out?
Wayne Elise: 1. Be okay with failing in front of people. If you never give yourself a chance to fail, you won’t grow and challenge yourself. What separates a professional such as myself from the beginner is mostly that I approach more. I’m going for the most beautiful girls that are smart and talented, and those girls typically have relationships, so I’m pushing against the hardest of the hard. I fail a lot. But if I approach five girls a day I’ll hook one. And one girl a day is way more than a guy needs. Got to be okay with failure. Now that doesn’t mean you want to make a fool of yourself. I teach guys how to bail without losing face when they have to. But you must be okay with things not working out. And, as I mentioned earlier, there’s a learning curve where you might look a bit stupid. Got to be okay with that.
2. Become better at articulating yourself. Without a core, you’re not attractive. How do you really feel about things? Take yourself out on a nice date with a glass of wine, a pad of paper and find out. If things go well, you might get lucky.
3. Understand that you are competing with a girl’s loyalty to her boyfriend. If you are approaching attractive girls, and I hope you are, then she has a boyfriend and sometimes two boyfriends. If you want someone hot you have to take her away from someone else. That’s just the reality. Most seduction methods seem to ignore that fact and presume everyone is single. Well the single ones are usually the ones you don’t want. Be okay with taking girls away from their boyfriends. Especially if he’s a lame French guy who wears a funny hat.
AttractionBlogs.com: Your company, Charisma Arts, is one of the companies that really built street credibility with live, in-field instruction. Can you tell us when and where your next big seminar will be?
Wayne Elise: Thanks for asking. We run bootcamps all over the world every weekend with our instructors. But the next event I’ll personally be teaching is the Conversation Camp in New York, Saturday, August 22. I don’t teach bootcamps anymore, but guys can sign up for private instruction if they want to learn from me personally.
AttractionBlogs.com: Often what holds most students back are their limiting beliefs about themselves and other people, and about what is really possible and how normal social interaction is really supposed to be. What do you find to be the most problematic limiting beliefs in the students that you work with? What would you say to those people?
Wayne Elise: Most guys focus themselves on impressing women or ‘demonstrating value’. But that’s only a small part of the game and something that’s best done subtly. Where a guy goes wrong is when he forgets to justify in a believable way why he’s attracted to her. Ideally this should be based on something a girl does or says that is unique to her. You have to be able to say, “You make me laugh and I like the way you talk about your art. I’d like to sit down for coffee with you downstairs for five minutes and continue this. I’ll buy the coffee and you can buy the cookies.”
But, but, BUT, in order to get a girl doing the things that you can use to justify showing interest, you have to know how to make her put herself out there. This is an art all to itself and about a third of what we teach.
AttractionBlogs.com: You are located in, I believe it’s Ann Arbor, Michigan. How are things different for you in this line of work, when many similar companies operate out of Los Angeles, New York, London, etc?
Wayne Elise: Well I’ve moved around a lot. I’m kind of a gypsy. I’m in Ann Arbor now but will soon be splitting my time between Ann Arbor and Los Angeles where I used to live. But we have a presence in all the big cities you mentioned. Where I live is really irrelevant. I’m usually working out of a hotel in any-city-in-the-world.
AttractionBlogs.com: When is your favorite moment in the whole process of meeting someone new?
Wayne Elise: That moment when I know I’ve broken her Kung Fu and gotten her to act real. Everything is then possible.
AttractionBlogs.com: Please tell us about the products you sell over at Charisma Arts?
Wayne Elise: I sell an ebook and an ebook package. One day we will come out with a DVD but I’m a stickler and don’t want to put out something of questionable quality so it’s taken awhile.
AttractionBlogs.com: What do you see happening in the Seduction Community over the next 5 or 10 years? Does the community have legs?
Wayne Elise: I’m lousy at predicting the future. I can only say what I’d like to see happen. I’d like the community to become more professional and responsible. Our industry has its share of hucksters, shysters and outright con-men. That’s sad to me. I’ve worked to try to make Charisma Arts transparent and open. I don’t want to think of what we do as shady and something guys have to hide from people because that leads to more shady ‘gurus’. I guess what I’m saying is I want to be ‘good’ and ‘helpful’ and I want everyone else to be ‘good’ and ‘helpful’. Pollyannaish, I know. Still I’m working towards that complete picture. Stay tuned.
AttractionBlogs.com: What’s next on the horizon? Do you have any new projects coming up that you can share with us?
Wayne Elise: At some point we will release a video project. This is difficult to get right. I don’t think anyone has yet. We filmed a lot a few years ago and it just wasn’t good enough for my taste so it’s been back to square one. But its rattling around in my brain. Eventually something will come out and it will be amazing. Other than that we are redesigning our site soon to make it more content focused. I think already we have some great writing and video but that stuff is a bit hard to find on the site. I want to make that easier.
AttractionBlogs.com: If I were to ask you for a Zen-like description of the difference between juggling 3 balls, and juggling 5 balls, what would you say? And is the extra practice worth it, in the end? Just how rewarding is it to actually get up to 5 balls?
Wayne Elise: On the scale of 1-10, juggling three balls is a 4. You can learn that in a day or two. While learning to juggle five balls is a 20. It takes serious commitment. If you practice every day you can learn it in 6 months to a year. P.S. have you seen the You Tube video of me riding on my biked backwards and juggling?
In the end, juggling five balls is one of those skills that is great to have in your pocket for entertaining people at parties and dates when you take them to the grocery store. Just grab some oranges and go to town. But warning to you: it’s impressive but only entertains someone for 15.2 seconds. After that you need a big finish and call it a night Charlie Brown.
AttractionBlogs.com: Juggler, thank you very much, it’s great to have you.
Wayne Elise: My pleasure, thanks for the opportunity.
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