AttractionBlogs.com: I’m here with Ross Jeffries, who is widely credited as the “grandfather of the community.” Ross, it’s great to have you with us.
Ross: I’d say I’m the father. I’m not old enough to be a grand-dad. Not yet, anyway.
AttractionBlogs.com: Ross, many top community figures, including David D, Style, Lovedrop, and others have cited you as a major influence in their game. But beyond that: looking back over the past twenty years, in retrospect it seems so obvious that a social technology could be developed to give men the the results they want in their sex life. But history shows you were the first one to actually do it. You have changed many lives. Are you a visionary? Where do you see the art of seduction in 50 or 100 years time?
Ross: A visionary? No, I’m someone who wanted to solve his own problem, and in order to do that, I had to detangle a lot of myth and nonsense out there to find out what really works. Be clear: I wanted to solve my own problem first, so I had to solve it for others in the process.
As for 50-100 years; right now, I’m looking at 5 days out. That’s my way of operating these days: I have 5 day plans.
AttractionBlogs.com: One of our readers asks this question:
“I purchased the Speed Seduction Deluxe Home Study Course, ‘back in the day.’ It absolutely revolutionized my belief systems about women, and gave me a lot of tools to play around with. Weasel phrases, trance words, quotes, time distortion, modality-based descriptions, process language-really cool stuff. It was like opening a magic box. How would you describe your Speed Seduction technology to someone who had never heard of it before?”
Ross: Well, first it is an entirely non-intuitive and counter-culture way of understanding concepts like “attraction” “love” “chemistry”. It’s a way to “de-thingify” these experiences. To see them not as “things” but rather processes that have a structure and a syntax and a form, that we can learn to notice and redirect.
Secondly, it is a way of using this understanding to control and design our own behaviors, thoughts, responses, and skill sets with women.
And finally, it is a way to use our language, vibe and actions to get women hot and ready to bang our brains out, without the traditional actions that men are taught to engage in: bullying, begging, buying, BS, booze and biceps.
AttractionBlogs.com: Ross, many of our readers are getting older. Is there hope for them?
Ross: Older than whom? I’m 50. My girlfriend is 20. Look, what you believe will filter what you see. So if you hold a strong belief that no young woman could possibly want you, you will shut down the circuitry in your brain to learn other possibilities.
But let me be clear: I am not asserting some sloppy, dumb-ass, New-Age “if you believe it, you will get it” bullshit, as in “The Secret.”
I didn’t say the right beliefs guarantee success. I am simply saying the right beliefs (and the right tools and skills) open up the possibility of success.
AttractionBlogs.com: When and where is your next seminar?
Ross: That would be in London, August 21-23. Here is my complete seminar schedule.
AttractionBlogs.com: These days, there are many other teachings in the seduction community. Are some of them just a lot of bullshit? Also, are there any other teachings out there that are useful, such as those from Mystery, et al? What are your thoughts?
Ross: Well, the bar to entry in this business is very low. All you need is a website, an eBook, and you are off to the races, proclaiming yourself a “Guru.”
As far as other systems; I just no longer pay attention. I’m far too busy with my own business and my own tech.
What I will say is this: most of what is being offered out there as “new” or “different” is a thinly veiled mish-mash of Mystery Method, or Speed Seduction ®, or an odd bastard combination of both.
As for MM: I really don’t buy into the underlying theories. But there is some use in it, mostly in what it teaches you not to do. Don’t just directly approach the hot girl and ignore her friends. Don’t hit on the hot girl with compliments or any of the other stuff they are used to hearing. Don’t ignore the social dynamics of what is going on.
As long as you don’t do those things, and you are a relatively “cool” guy with some chops, I really don’t see how useful the DHV, IOI, IOD, etc etc. are. But then, I don’t go to clubs. I hate noise (I think I have a genuine neurological super-sensitivity to it; it scrambles something in my left temporal lobe and deactivates it), I hate drunk people, I hate crowds, I hate cigarette smoke. So that is four noxious inputs all in the same place at the same time. Neurological overload for me.
Plus I don’t stay up too late. So my girlfriend will go out dancing and drinking until 3:00 AM and then come home to me. Let the other guys pay for her drinks.
AttractionBlogs.com: Your teachings have evolved over time. What do you have to say to any detractors? How would you describe your most powerful teachings?
Ross: Detractors? I don’t even bother anymore. It’s a major drain on my focus. What I do say to those who are curious but uncertain is to go here: www.seduction4free.com
I offer a free, 5 part, modular video course on-line, that is a complete intro to the concepts and tools of Speed Seduction ®. You could call it an introduction to Sexual Languaging. Just go there, watch the videos, try out the stuff. Add it in to your own game or system that you are doing and see the results. It’s free.
I’m doing this because:
1. I want those who can never afford it to have a way to use my method. Lots of guys need this and can’t pay. So they can learn for free.
2. Those who are uncertain ought to be given massive proof, first. With such a bewildering and confusing number of competing schools and systems, I’ll be the first one to step up to the plate and say, “Okay, I’ll give it away, first. I’ll prove it. Then if you want more, you can come back and ask what you want to buy.”
As I see it, no one in the community is marketing anymore. They are selling. And the distinction is this: marketing is everything that you do-all the genuine value you offer-prior to even trying to sell anything, such that when you finally do want to sell, you don’t have to. People will want what you put on the table because they’ve already tasted it, loved it, and want more.
That’s what I’m doing. And I can already see that it is working. I have the feedback and I have the numbers.
AttractionBlogs.com: What is the product that you are most proud of, and why?
Ross: My skill as a teacher. Look, I’ve been doing this 20 years now. I’ve taught thousands of guys; that’ s not an exaggerated statistic or hyperbole. That’s fact.
With that kind of experience, I have insight-make that deep insight-into any possible block, barrier, stuck-point a guy can have, and I also can see the hidden skills, strengths and strong points.
So I’m uniquely positioned to provide real answers, real solutions, real sense and real support for any guy’s breakthrough success and satisfaction with women.
You can imitate my system. You can’t imitate my experience and skill. You can only get it here, with me.
That’s what I offer in my coaching program and you can find out more here: www.rjcoaching.com
AttractionBlogs.com: How did you come up with the idea to take something like NLP and apply it the way you did? Was there an “Ah-ha” moment? Tell us about it.
Ross: I was reading “Frogs Into Princes” by Bandler and Grinder. And by page 10, I thought, “Holy Fuck! This is what I need. This is what I am looking for.”
That was it. That was back in 1987. I never looked back. Although NLP is no longer the only methodology I use, it is still a core foundation for me, and I suspect always will be such.
AttractionBlogs.com: Do you think you’ve made your mark on the NLP community as well? What would Bandler and Grinder say if they were here right now?
Ross: For sure. I’m a figure of controversy in that community, but I also know I’m well respected, but often “under the table.” I know Bandler approves of my work, because he’s told me so, and I’ve been present in his events where he’s said so. His training partner, John Lavalle, has taught with me in my Speed Life events that I used to do (and may one day return to doing.)
John Grinder I don’t really know; I’ve meet him twice in events of his I attended rather anonymously in the late 80’s. But John has students who are fans of mine. I suspect he’d be troubled by the “ecology” of what I do, to use a bit of NLP jargon, but I really don’t know. He’s a deeply open-minded guy, so for all I know he’d enjoy it. I really don’t know.
AttractionBlogs.com: How often do you get out sarging these days? Are there any new tricks from the field that you can share with us?
Ross: Well, I’ve been with my lovely Swedish lady for nearly 2 years, and believe it or not, monogamously so. But I still like to practice now and again. I’ll do some opening, get some nice fascination and attraction going, but then just walk from it.
AttractionBlogs.com: There have been various disputes in the past, in the seduction community. We know you had a falling out with your prior business associate, Yates. There was some confusion about your website at some point. (Ross’s website, for the record, is Seduction.com) Lately, figures such as Nick Savoy have been involved in multiple legal disputes…
Ross: I am forbidden for legal reasons from discussing what went down with Yates. I can say that I wish him well in all of his endeavors, and that for many, many years he was a fine partner and a pivotal part of allowing me to grow as a person and a teacher. I think he genuinely loved helping people and still does. Good on him.
My official website, where you can access my latest teachings and materials, is: www.Seduction.com
As for Savoy and the rest of them, all I can say is this: way back in 2005 I remember talking to Erik (Mystery) at Mel’s Diner. Neil was there but then walked off. I said, “You need to protect yourself. All of these people (at the time I meant Tyler) are going to take your stuff and start their own businesses.”
But look, this is business. When people deal with money, they get odd. They can convince themselves that anything they do is right or justified. And others go into it with the intent of thieving. And then there are those partnerships that are great for a long time but something goes sour. That is how all business works. Why should this field be any different?
AttractionBlogs.com: Is there any hope for the community? Ross, you’ve been around the block. What’s your advice to the seduction community?
Ross: My advice? Step up and offer massive proof before you try to sell a thing. My greatest advice is to potential consumers: demand proof. Demand high quality teaching and material up front, before you pay a penny. Anyone who won’t rise to that test, doesn’t deserve your business and your trust.
AttractionBlogs.com: Do you have any regrets? Is there anything you would do if you could go back in time using that Green Lantern ring of yours?
Ross: Regrets, I have a few. But then again, too few to mention. As for my GL ring, I’d go back in time and get Thor’s Hammer and the Eye of Agamotto.
AttractionBlogs.com: If you could give just two tips to the average guy who wants to improve his results with women and dating, what would you say to have the greatest impact on his life?
Ross:
1. Stop overfocusing on the behaviors you want a woman to do. Start focusing on the emotional states you’d like her to experience, from which those behaviors would be natural for her.
2. Learn to control your state and beliefs.
AttractionBlogs.com: Ross, what’s next on the horizon? Do you have any surprises up your sleeve?
Ross: Well, I’m creating a whole new product line of seminars, consulting, and recorded products for using these skill sets for marketing, sales, negotiations, persuasive writing, and business.
We are very early in this process. I’ll keep everyone up to date.
AttractionBlogs.com: Ross, what’s your take on the current situation with Iran? With a new, hawkish government in Israel, and increased rhetoric from Ahmadinejad, is the Obama administration right to float the possibility of accepting Iran as a nuclear state “with rigorous inspections”? What do you see playing out in the Middle East over the next 5 or 10 years?
Ross: Jeez. Ask Mystery.
But okay, since you asked, and since I have a degree in International Relations from UCLA (BA, 1981), here is my take on it:
All of this public rhetoric about Israel planning a strike on Iran is, I think, a distraction. I think what is going on is that Israel and the US are covertly working to sabotage the program. You don’t need to take out the reactor and other facilities. You just need to do some sabotage.
The US has sophisticated tech that can get into computer systems, feed false data, corrupt files, generate fake numbers. Probably we can also get into those systems that control the actual physical machinery that runs the centrifuges etc.
Then you can also “accidentally” remove key personnel. Or “turn” them to engage in sabotage.
But I do think an Israeli strike is unlikely. They would have to be very careful not to bomb the reactors in a way that would spread radioactive material for potential thousands of miles and cause thousands of short term and long term casualties; that would be a disaster, both in humanitarian and political terms. Not to mention probably triggering a regional war.
Factor into that the likelihood that some Iranian ballistic missiles will survive an Israeli strike, get through Israel’s Arrow missile and Green Pine radar systems, and strike major population centers, probably with chemical and maybe even biological weapons.
So I don’t think you’ll see that kind of action, but I’m pretty certain covert action is going on against the Iranian nuclear program.
And despite the rhetoric, Iran is a pragmatic actor. They know that any nuclear strike on Israel will result in massive Israeli retaliation. Israel has submarines at sea at all times, and the reliable belief is that they are armed with long range cruise missiles, tipped with nuclear warheads. They’d turn Tehran to glass.
AttractionBlogs.com: Ross, thank you very much for being with us today, it’s an honor.
Ross: Thank you for having me.
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