dating

I wake up from a sound slumber, fully clothed, at 10 o’clock in the morning with a pounding hangover. “Ugghhhh, what happened last night,” I mutter to myself. As the fragmented pieces of the night begin to assemble into a somewhat hazy picture, the taste of disgust begins to find it’s way to the back of my mouth. Oh dear god… what did I do? The last thing I remember, I was standing in the middle of my most frequented bar, the place where I have home field advantage, where all my friends and neighborhood aristocrats hang out, embracing a rather tubby fat girl in full tongue-down mode… This is what happens when you mix seven hours of drinking on a Sunday with not masturbating in over a week. Things don’t always go to plan and as the booze slowly erodes your logical mind, that’s when the body’s physical needs begin to take over regardless of your standards. Normally, the incident wouldn’t be so bad, I’d just brush it off as accidental horniness. However, the fact that it occurred on my own turf, where I hold court and generally am regarded with higher status than the average shlub on the street, well, this does not bode well for reputation at this particular watering hole. Now, I know what you’re saying, so what if she was a little obese, everyone’s done it from time to time. Yea, like I said not normally a big deal, but this particular woman has her own reputation, that of an alpha female of sorts, going around the neighborhood bars and seducing unsuspecting drunken betas that fall under her prey. …

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